The Great Getaway

Tim and I have recently returned from our first vacation without the kids in many years. We went with another couple who hadn't been away in even longer than us and we all needed the break desperately! It took a few days for all of us to come down a bit but the relaxation set in and it was fantastic. We all came back refreshed with our cups full and running over ready to take on our worlds once again. We went to Puerto Vallarta which is just paradise on earth and we loved every minute of it. I ran and did yoga nearly every day, sipped fun drinks, had lots of fun adventures and bought a timeshare that we happen to be very excited about :). We're excited to hopefully go back with the kids next year along with a sitter to have an extra set of hands and eyes and give mom and dad a bit of a vacation too. Here are a few key shots from the trip.

New Haircut

This is my 2nd attempt at posting these photos and hopefully they'll work this time! S, at almost 3 1/2, got his 1st haircut. He was enthralled with the process and, as with the other boys, we watched him move from baby to little boy with every snip of the scissors. The new do really suits him and makes him look even more identical to big brother M at that age!

Seriously? It's March already?

I started this year of 2011 feeling behind. We came out of our Holiday season having celebrated 5 Christmases and still having one to go which didn't happen until January 8th and while it was very enjoyable, the whole timing of it left me feeling very behind. I know that this seems to be my mantra "I'm so behind". Hmmm, must meditate on that one...but when you honestly can't remember the last time your toilets were scrubbed and your kids are making comments about them...you're behind. The toilets finally got cleaned (not even 2 weeks ago - I said it was bad!) and with that, I finally felt "caught up" for the first time all year. I'm totally feeling the effects of being gone at my yoga teacher training all day every Sunday and not having that day at home. Apparently, I used to do a lot of productive things on Sunday that I didn't really notice until I wasn't around to do them anymore. Whooda thunk?

Some really great things have happened this year so far:

- S is officially POTTY TRAINED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! No more diapers. Ever. Never ever again. Wahoo!!!!!
- The twins are officially done nursing. That was slightly bittersweet but we were all ready. I said I wanted to nurse them until between ages 2 and 3 and they were 3 years, 2 months when they stopped. It was such a lovely experience nursing them for so long and I have wonderful memories of it. And I'm glad that we're done and moving on.
- M turned 11! It seems to get more "real" every year. 11, wow! He had a fun couple of parties and we honored him just right.
- Tim and I booked a vacation...alone...just us...no kids. Awesome.
- My sister "matched" for her doctoral internship which is a REALLY big deal. We're so happy for her and kind of selfishly sad that it will take her to California but they're going to have a great time...and then move back in a year. For real.
- I've started running again and I actually like it quite a bit. I never thought I'd say that.
- As part of my yoga teacher training, I've done a meditation series and a practice development series (both of which were really wonderful) and I'm signed up to study with Seane Corn for a week in August about which I'm totally stoked. I'm learning so much through this process not only about yoga, but about myself. And things are coming up for me and I'm working through them which kind of suck sometimes but it's all part of the journey and it will be worth it in the end. I truly love this teacher training process. I've been doing some practice teaching here and there which is helping me become more comfortable with things as well (like figuring out which arm is your left and which one is the right without having to look at my own hands or do the posture myself); it's not always as easy as it looks! It's very cool that I get to decide what kind of a teacher I want to be and what I want to put out there. It's also kind of intimidating for the same reasons. Again, all good stuff.
- We officially finished the Harry Potter series! We flew through the 7th book in record time (for us) and then suffered the inevitable Potter Void symptoms as we floated around the house trying in vain to find something to fill it. We did finally settle on some good ol' Raold Dahl books but we're still suffering some of the lingering effects of Potter Void. At least we have one more movie to look forward to :)

We've had tons of snow and despite the general feeling of dismay on Facebook, I love it. It's been beautiful watching it come down; so peaceful. We're just hoping for a slow thaw to minimize the inevitable flooding.

For some reason, I caught the school planning bug really early this year and have been having way too much fun planning what we're going to do next year. The boys have finally figured out that once they get done with the stuff that I have planned for them, they have plenty of time to study the stuff that they want to study. The cool questions are starting to flow more freely now and it's getting really fun. There's truly nothing more satisfying than having your child say "I just read something about the Tropic of Cancer and I don't know what that is. Can we look it up?" Music to my ears!! Even the little ones are getting in on it and asking to "do school" which pretty much involves looking at their letters, making sounds, identifying the colors of every truck we see, counting the number of cookies the neighbor lady gave us and roaming around the house pretending to be cows. Good times. It really is fun to have some older ones (we're starting Middle School next year - wow!) and some younger ones to stay in balance.

I have to say that when the twins were little I had so very many parents of multiples offer "when they turn 3, it gets way better". They were so right. 3 year olds are awesome and times 2 is just super cool...most of the time. Of course right now they're having World War III but it all goes along with the territory. Most of the time, they play together incredibly well and the way that they're participating in co-operative play is heartwarming. We delight in watching them.

So, life goes on as usual in our household. Our thoughts begin to turn to warmer weather and activities that go along with it: camping, summer fun, swimming, go to the beach, hiking, riding bikes, playing outside, etc. The twins are finally going to be old enough this year where we can really get out and do lots of things that we've had on hold for the past 3 1/2 years. It was worth the break but we're going to be really grateful to have some freedom this summer that we've not had in several years. BRING IT ON!

Finding the Lessons

This has been a very interesting few days for me. I essentially broke up with someone who at one time in my life was a very close friend of mine and has held a special place in my heart for a very long time. And it hurts. A lot. It really feels a lot like breaking up with a boyfriend or perhaps a small taste of what it might be like to go through a divorce. It's not a good feeling. The pangs of emotion hit me throughout the day and it effects me physically as well as emotionally and spiritually. This was brought home when my chiropractor asked me yesterday if I'd been banging my head against a wall as my left temporal lobe was in complete disarray. Emotions effect us physically as well as on the inside, even when we don't think they do.

I'm of the school of thought that everything happens for a reason, that there are lessons in everything and it's our job to look for them and receive them as such if we want to grow. Painful experiences are often the deliverers of the most profound growth and learning and it is holding true for me this week.

Here are a few of the lessons I'm learning about myself:

- Breaking up is hard. It hurts and yet the mere existence of hurt shows that love also exists. If it didn't hurt, there would be no love and love is good.
- I'm really hard on myself sometimes. I hold myself to a high standard and can be very judgmental of myself. When I am judgmental of myself, it often projects out onto other people and I judge them too. Compassion for myself and, in turn, for others is the answer here. I'm working on that.
- When I try to "rise above" my hurt I deny my humanness and that's not healthy. Even though it's painful, going through the hurt is the path to healing. Repression only leads to anger and more hurt.
- Even though anger is often the quickest, easiest and first answer to difficult situations, it's not the path to growth. Spiritual and emotional growth only come from moving beyond anger and dealing with the real feelings that are lying underneath.
- I am strong enough to leave a relationship that isn't working for me even though it's hard. I could not have done that 10 years ago.
- Deep breathing really does help. So does crying. And so does having people around who love and support you. That helps a lot.

Of course none of us wants to ever have to walk through times of pain and hurt but it's part of life. Suffering is part of life. The real test is in how we walk through these times and how we come out of it on the other side.

I'm still walking this path and I'm still learning and I'm sure I'll be here for a good, long time. I will always miss having my friend in my life and I am grieving for that loss but if I can come out the other side of this having grown and feeling love and compassion, then I will have indeed found the lesson in this suffering. May it be so.

Fall Photos

Angella took some photos of the boys this fall and they were fantastic. Here's a small sampling, all of which show each boys' personality.

Something for mom

As a mom, especially a stay-at-home-homeschool mom, it's very easy for everything in our lives to become about our kids, homeschooling, our homes and everything that goes with all of that-which is a lot! I've had friends who don't stay home with their kids ask what we do all day and sometimes it's hard to answer with specifics; all I know is that we definitely manage to stay busy! Because of all of that, it's very easy for a mom to lose her identity as a woman, as a separate person from the role of mother, wife, homemaker and all of the other hats we wear. However, it's truly important that we do have something all our own. Our kids won't be young forever and when they grow up, we need to have something we can turn to that fills us and feeds our souls whether that be a hobby, a philanthropy or a career. And it's important to have those things while our kids are young too. We don't have an endless supply of energy and a bottomless well of ourselves from which we can hand out pieces day after day without having a negative effect on our own well-being. As a mother, it's easy to feel selfish in a negative way about spending time on ourselves and while I feel that it's important that there be balance, I also truly feel that it IS important that we be selfish sometimes. Selfish isn't an alltogether bad word! Selfish can mean making time to exercise, drink enough water, take our vitamins, take a shower and sit in silence for a few moments. It can mean having a hobby that makes you happy, talking to a friend on the phone, getting a massage or going out with the girls for an evening. Everyone gets filled up in different ways and it's important for each of us to figure out what does the trick in the most efficient and complete way for us.

For me, yoga is a huge part of filling up my reserves. I've been practicing to some degree for over 10 years but more seriously for about 5 or 6 years. Since the twins were born, I've been practicing at a studio once a week nearly every week and if I have to miss a week, I really notice it in my body and in my mind and spirit. It makes a big difference for me. I've always wanted to be a yoga teacher and knew that it would be in my life some day and it showed up for me one day this fall. I got a call from my sister saying that she was going to be starting her teacher training in November. We've often talked about doing our training together and by a few hours after our phonecall, I was having a conversation with Tim and I called to register the following day. Hooray! It was a long month of waiting for the classes to begin but we've now done 2 weeks of classes and I love it. Yoga teacher training at the studio where we're doing it (which will result in a Registered Yoga Teacher certification qualifying us to teach pretty much anywhere) is pretty much like going back to school. There are 230 hours minimum of study time required which is split up between Technical Sessions, Classroom time, required reading, presentations, mentorship, homework, Karma Yoga our own practice and more. It's really thorough and I'm starting to figure out how this is all going to fit into my already full schedule. But, I'm experiencing something that I never experienced in all my years of school: I WANT to do the work. I WANT to learn not only what we're being taught but more. My stack of 5 required books has at least doubled as one topic leads me to another and another. Things that make my head swim in class come together at home as I delve deeper and deeper in my desire to fully understand everything to the greatest extent that I can. It's opening my eyes to this way of learning that in the homeschool community is termed "unschooling" whereby the student follows their own interests but I'm also learning that following these paths aren't inherent to everyone and it's something I need to coach my kids on. I want them to be on fire for learning as much as I am right now. It's so exciting and there just aren't enough hours in the day for me to take in all that I want to know so I have to pace myself.

This feels good. It feels right and it's so nice to have something that's all for me not only now, but in the future. It gives me earning potential, flexibility and so very much more. When you find the path you're supposed to be on, one that really feeds you, it's just right.

May we all find our paths and may our cups overflow as we strive for balance and happiness in our lives!

Halloween 2010

Here are the boys at Halloween! M was a Ninja, G was a Secret agent and the twins were sheep (mommy was Little Bo Peep even though there is no photographic evidence)