Questions

I've learned a few things over the past 10 years of motherhood. Among these things is a list of questions that mothers just shouldn't ask if they want to keep their sanity:

Why did you do that?
Why didn't you do that?
What happened (asked to at least 2 children at the same time. If you do dare to ask this question, be sure you have a hot beverage in your hand because you'll be able to sit and sip it while trying to decipher "what happened")
Who did this?
Where did you put that?
What was that noise? (the answer is always "nothing")
Why can I find it in 3 seconds while you couldn't find it in 10 minutes of "searching"?
What have you been doing? (asked in the context of such things as: while they were supposed to be cleaning their room, tidying the kitchen, doing math, etc.)
What are you doing?
When is the last time you:
- changed your underwear
- showered
- brushed your teeth
- brushed your hair
- wore a different shirt
- wore different pants
CAUTION: if they pause and look blankly into space while trying to remember the last time they did these things, it's been too long. Just send them up to the shower with implicit instructions to throw every item of clothing currently on their bodies down the laundry chute, wash their hair, brush their teeth, brush their hair and use soap on their bodies - not necessarily in that order. You may want to make a list but even if you do that, there's a very good chance that they won't do it all anyway. 50% is a good result and you should be happy with this.
Whose socks are these? (they multiply like bunnies, I swear)
You've just spilled yet another glass of (insert beverage here), what do you think you should do about that?
Why do we have to have this conversation every single day? (this could pertain to just about anything. Especially the above list about changing clothing items and persoanal hygiene)
You KNOW you have to clean the table and floor as part of doing the kitchen, why must we have this conversation every single day?
Haven't we had this conversation before?
What did you say?

Okay, I could clearly go on. I think as a general rule it's best to not ask open-ended questions to which you already know or don't want the answer. It keeps us in nice oblivion or at least in the illusion of it (we always know what's really going on) and keeps the kids from having to step in it even more than they already have. It's just for the best.

And now, I will put on my rose-colored glasses and attack my day while doing my best not to ask any questions. Happy Monday!

Hello Sun!!

After several days of mild temps but no sun, lots of rain, a thunderstorm and plenty of fog, we had sun today!! We just relished it. I felt the cobwebs leave my brain and it had a positive effect on all of our moods. After a quick run to Costco with the twins this morning, we spent the rest of the day outside soaking in the rays and playing like crazy. G was positively tortured by the walk/bike ride I made him go on but it was worth it. The twins went through 2 pairs of pants each, there's a huge pile of muddy/sandy clothes waiting to be washed and I couldn't be more pleased to go tackle it! I've been waiting for the urge to spring clean to kick in and it hasn't yet but I feel like it's around the corner. I planned our Equinox celebration today (provided there isn't a birth happening) and I'm very excited about that too.

Spring is in the air and is very welcome!!

The Sock

We have a sock war going on in our house. I have recently taken up knitting socks with a passion. After completing a pair of little pink ones for my niece, baby T (who is due to arrive almost any day), I decided to bestow a pair on my wonderful husband. I let him pick out his own yarn, I chose the pattern and ran it by him for approval and cast on...without knitting a swatch to check my gauge. Now for non-knitters, not knitting a swatch to check your gauge is like walking into a store and randomly grabbing a size of whatever clothing piece off of the shelf and not bothering to try it on before purchasing it. I know, I know, stupid but when you're so excited to jump into a project sometimes you just go for it even though you've read a hundred thousand times NOT to do that, sometimes you just do it anyway. That's what I did. Not only that, but I also ignored the comments from friends and even Tim saying that the sock looked a bit big. Well, not being one to rip out my hard work, I pushed on lying to myself all the while that it would be fine. 2 weeks later, I finished the first sock. I lavishly presented it to my wonderful husband who put it on and had the nerve to announce that it was too big. When I asked him what size he wanted me to do the second sock, he answered, "the same size you're going to do the third." Uh oh. Wrong answer.

I promptly declared him un-sock-worthy right then and there and thus, the war began. I decided that I just didn't have the heart at that moment in time to rip out the entire sock so I set it aside (after wearing it for a full day just to prove the point that it was indeed wearable - so there!). I knitted myself a beautiful PAIR of slipper socks that Tim now threatens to steal because they look like the right size for him...not so. I've taken to hiding them when they're not on my feet and I'm expounding on the comfort and pure coziness my feet are enjoying at that moment.

It's truly been all in fun. I know that it was my fault. I'm taking it as a learning experience and I knew that at some point I would be ready to rip out my beautiful work and try it again. Well, today was that day. I just finished unraveling the ginormous sock and winding the yarn back into a ball to be made, yet again, into a sock. This time, however, I know my gauge and I will knit to it. I will constantly be requesting fitting sessions to be sure that it's fitting right and, if necessary, I will swallow my pride BEFORE I finish it and rip it out to make sure it fits.

My children, however, remain un-sock-worthy. Anyone who slings their socks this way and that on a whim, wears them outside without shoes and can't manage to get any piece of clothing into the dirty laundry until it can stand on it's own from build up of dirt and guck isn't yet worthy of my socks. Maybe by the time they get married they will be, but not today.

Mommy Bragging

We parents always think our kids are awesome. We love to brag about our kids to anyone who will listen and we soak it in when the other person agrees that yes, they are truly extraordinary. And sometimes we need to focus on those things to keep from going crazy from the other not-awesome things that our kids do as well - they're kids, right?

Anyway, here I go with some super cool stuff that my kids are doing:

- S (27 months) has amazing, truly amazing fine motor skills. It started with clipping his own buckles on his carseat and high chair about a year ago and lacing beads several months ago. That was impressive. He's now graduated to putting on his own mittens with the thumbs in the right spots and everything and he's getting himself dressed. He started with putting on his own pants, then moved to pajamas (the footie kind) and today, he walked into the livingroom completely dressed with pants and a turtleneck that he picked out and put on all by himself. I was impressed to say the least. He also loves to do the alphabet puzzle he got for Christmas and he can do the entire thing all by himself. He looks at the piece, finds its spot, pops it in and then repeats the sound that the letter makes (the puzzle says it). Having never had kids before this who were at all interested in puzzles, this leaves me amazed every time.

C- (27 months) has incredible recall. Yesterday, he had his Circle Time class at our homeschool co-op. That's at 11:00. At 3:30, he came home and announced to Nana that he had fun at Circle Time today and they talked about Dinosaurs. That's one heck of a timeline for recall. He also told daddy about it when he was going to bed last night. Impressive. His reasoning skills are incredible too. For ages, he's understood and voluntarily implemented the idea of taking turns. He often leads "S's turn, my turn" when the twins are playing together. He regularly takes up the cause of taking turns when there is a game going and he's been doing that since before he was 2. You can tell him to do things and he'll actually do them. I can give him something and tell him to go give it to one of his brothers and he'll do it and make sure that they do with it what they're supposed to and then come back and report on it. Handy.

G - (8 1/2 yrs) is as sharp as a whip. He picks up on things so quickly. He can always look at the clock and nearly instantly tell you how much time there is between now and the next event happening in our day. He's one of those people who is naturally good at nearly everything he tries whether it's academic or physical. And he has passion coming out of his ears! Once he decides where he's going to concentrate that passion, watch out world!

M- (10 yrs) has really incredible self-awareness and a heart that is huge. His newest venture, The Banana Club, was born out of getting punched in the nose last week at a park for no reason other than wanting to befriend a kid who wasn't being very nice to him. Instead of getting bitter, he turned it into a game and recruited others to it as well. The game was to find and resolve conflict. In his spirit of wanting to encompass everything and everyone in his visions, he believes that if he can just get the word out to enough people and get enough people on board with his club, that it will ultimately bring about world peace. It's so inspiring to see him dream so big and in a way that is good for all. It will be amazing to see where he goes.

So, there's my mommy brag for today. My children are amazing and that's that.

Vitamin D to the rescue!

I have been utterly amazed at our winter thus far. I had done some research in the fall when h1n1 was all the rage and we chose not to do the vaccination for it about which I'm am even more resolved after all of the news about it. Anyway, we chose to do a rigorous regimen of vitamin D instead. I have been taking 10,000 units a day for myself and the babes who are getting it through the breastmilk. The older boys take 5,000 units every-other day and Tim is SUPPOSED to take 5,000 units a day. He didn't. Guess who got sick...a lot. Tim spent several days this winter sick enough to be in bed for a few days at a time. The kids and I got a case of the sniffles one day and it was so minor that it was hardly noticeable. It's amazing to me that the vitamin D made such a huge difference in our health. I'm totally sold!

When I Wasn't Looking

Despite being home with my kids all day every day and being very involved in their lives, there are things that happen when I'm not looking. Here are a few:

- The twins unrolled an entire roll of toilet paper and put it into the toilet...twice. This plays into the wise piece of advice: if you hear your toddler in the bathroom say "uh-oh", RUN, don't walk, to the scene of the crime.

- The big boys decided that playing tag in the dark basement was a good idea. The huge gash and black eye that ensued when G tripped during said game stated otherwise.

- M turned 10. Where did those years go?

- The babes decided that having picked up toys (even for a few minutes) is overrated.

- The laundry started to procreate.

- The babes are nursing less and talking more.

- My kids got really smart and started asking me more and more questions that I can't answer off the top of my head which result in me stating "I'll have to look it up". i.e., Armageddon over breakfast the other day.

- My babies aren't babies anymore. Any of them.

- C decided that he's old enough (being 2 years and 2 months) to pee standing up. Yeah. That's a good idea.

- G became a math whiz and now tells me to the minute how long we have until the next scheduled event. Odd seeing as how he's the person in the family with the worst time-management skills...but he can tell you exactly how late he is!

- M is showing signs of adolescence. He's no longer up at the crack of dawn and can be seen reading in bed every night instead of playing his way to his bed like he used to.

There are so many things that we as parents can't see because we do spend so much time with our kids. We can't see them growing; we only see that their pants get short. We can't see them maturing; we only look back and remember when. And sometimes it's hard to see from up close that they're growing into fine young people and eventually into fine adults. We just have to trust that the input is going to result in a good outcome at some point and it will probably happen when we're not looking.

A New Year and a New Bed

Last night, my babies slept in their own room for the first time ever. S did very well but he's used to sleeping in that room during naps. It happened to be the 2nd night in a rown that he slept all night. Awesome. C is currently back to nursing most of the night and last night was no exception. I was able to be in my own bed with just my husband for a few hours before being called to duty. It's definitely going to be a process but I know I'm ready for it and I hope they play ball. We had originally planned for them to transition to matresses on the floor of our room but we failed to consider that they might actually believe that my bed is their bed and that being on the floor would not be a good second option for them. We learned that one the interesting way! So for now, I'm going to be happy to sleep baby-less in my own bed for at least a few hours a night and hopefully, it will be more as time goes on. I'm kind of surprised that I'm so ready for this but I am. I've been thinking about it and slowly moving toward it for several weeks and now that it's here, I'm prepared and at peace with it. It's time.

This is a lesson that I have learned over and over again in my mothering journey: if things are hard and you feel like you're fighting all the time, the time isn't right. Stop fighting and be where you are. You can work toward your goal but jumping in may not be the right answer for right now. At some point, you'll try something and it will be easy for you. That means you're ready. It can be very challenging to be patient, be present and be at peace with the way things are right now but in the end, it's always worth taking your time and going at the pace that is right for you and your babies. It's all a process. Be in it.