Shopping with Toddlers

Tim's traveling for work this week so I am on full-time duty which means that I'm responsible for getting the older boys to MMA (Mixed Martial Arts) 2 nights this week. I chose tonight and tomorrow night to just get it out of the way and because they are the nights that work best for me if such a thing exists. A friend was also at the class so she helped with the babies as I simultaneously tried to nurse S and cast on my yarn for a pair of socks (take 2 of the ginormous socks if we're counting). During the class, the instructor informed me that the boys didn't have their check in cards, their belts weren't tied right and...they need mouth guards and groin guards. Fun. So after class we grabbed dinner and then headed off to Sports Authority on our errand. Now I may have worked in a sports store many a year ago but I was never an expert on mouth guards or groin guards so I knew that I was either going to need help or this was going to be a long trip of looking all over the store.

I prepped the older boys to not ask for anything. We're going in. We're getting exactly what we need and nothing more (unless mommy finds something irresistable for herself in which case all rules are null and void) and we're getting out of there. The twins didn't get the memo. We weren't all the way in the door when C collapses in a heap of tantrumming toddler. I have to hand S over to M to hold onto while I grab C and look for someone to help. I can already tell this isn't going to be pretty. The girl I asked quickly handed it off to her male co-worker (smart girl) who was awesome in getting the boys everything they needed while I chased and managed my 2 screaming, jello-like and running toddlers around the store. We somehow made it back up to the register with me dragging S by the hand while asking him to stand up and C following along sobbing. I'm the picture of the perfect mother at this moment (dripping with sarcasm). I instructed the boys to toss their stuff up onto the counter, I quickly paid for it while simultaneously restraining both of the toddlers with my knees to keep them from running in opposite directions, scribbled my name onto the pen pad, handed the bag to M, my purse to G and grabbed 2 little hands while trying to convince them that we are indeed going home. We made it half way across the parking lot before S collapsed into a tantrumming toddler heap and I had to make the executive decision to again drag him the rest of the way to the car to keep him safe because I couldn't risk letting go of C's hand even for a nanosecond or he would have bolted. I finally got them both restrained in the car, turned on a movie, took a deep breath and drove home.

I have to say that a lot of the time, they're great shoppers. The twins help me push the cart and put things in - most of which are on my instruction but we get a surprise here and there - they hang out and then sit in the cart when they get tired of walking or I bribe them with a box of crackers. They usually do a great job but apparently, this was just too much tonight. I can relate kiddos. I can definitely relate.