Since our babies were born many things in our household, which were once so easy, have now become equal to an Olympic sport. Here are a few of the categories we now engage in daily:
- Diaper Changing Event: involves changing a baby who wants to be on their tummy and on the other side of the room. In this event, mommy must clean up and rediaper the baby before the poop gets all over the carpet which often involves holding the baby with one hand, holding the baby's arms down with her calves and using the other hand to wring out and use the wipes and then position the diaper and diaper cover. In the Gold Medal Round, second baby comes to nurse in the middle of the diaper changing. Switch babies and repeat.
- Removing Toddlers from the Laundry Room Event: the goal here is to remove both babies from the laundry room and shut the door without pinching any fingers. The challenge is that both babies find the laundry room to be fascinating what with the spinning and the water and the bottles and buckets of things lying hither and yon. This often involves taking one baby, placing him outside of the room, turning around to grab the other baby and putting him outside of the room to find that the first baby has returned to the laundry room and the process needs to be repeated until both babies are on the outside of the room. This is not as easy as it sounds.
- Getting to the Toilet before it Finishes Flushing Event coupled with the It's Awfully Quiet, are the Babies in the Bathroom Event: This event is often marked by 2 babies screaming in delight as something is either put into or removed from (yep) the toilet and often involves most of a roll of toilet paper which never loses its appeal and because the roll is constantly being replaced, the fun just keeps on coming. The bonus round is in effect when 2 babies emerge from the bathroom soaking wet and you don't want to know how that happened. Cue baths.
- Homeschool Event: involves trying to do lessons with one child while the other child plays with the babies and trying to convince the first child that it is indeed in his best interest to just get it done so we can stop having this conversation and get on with our day. This event is often interrupted by babies breaking into the school room and systematically removing everything from the shelves and either standing on it or putting it into their mouths or climbing up and pushing all of the buttons on one of the computers or keyboards. The bonus is that the older children will someday have unshakable focus due to all of this chaos and somehow, they are learning a ton. Whew!
- Nursing Event: this is the most varied event as it can take on many different faces. Some include nursing while reading, nursing while knitting, nursing while typing at the computer, nursing while teaching, nursing while cooking, nursing while changing a diaper of the other baby, nursing while scrapbooking, nursing while grocery shopping, nursing while chasing other toddler through the Science Museum, nursing while vacuuming or sweeping, nursing while sleeping, nursing while eating, nursing while on a walk,. This is only a partial list and most are greatly aided by the use of a sling. The Gold Medal round involves nursing both of them at the same time while doing any of the aforementioned activities. Note that a baby will notice any time you are sitting still for any length of time and will believe that to be time to nurse. This is also relevant when you are doing yoga and are lying on your back and the toddler comes and lies on top of you and nurses which ultimately just increases the intensity of your core strengthening poses so that must count for something.
- Decathalon: this is our most challenging event as it takes all of the resources that a mother has and puts them all to the test simultaneously. It often looks like this: mommy's in the kitchen making dinner, nursing one babe while the other is either hanging on her leg or playing nearby (probably emptying a cupboard) and at the same time is teaching math to one older child and reviewing spelling words with the other. Yes, I have done this one many times!
Giving birth is a magnificent experience which takes everything a woman has and is. It takes her to her deepest place and in the end, it empowers her and makes her who she is: a mother. We earn that title and going through the birth process gets us ready for the Olympics of Motherhood.
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